It’s 1994 and I’m eighteen years old.
As soon as I turned sixteen I begged my mother to let me drive. For me, and any product of the 80’s, driving was more than a privilege, it was a rite of passage, a sign of prestige, a moment in life that gave us freedom. A moment that gave us clout.
We longed for the days our PE classes converted into Drivers Ed with the hope that one day the road would be ours!
Driving was our first mark of maturity.
Responsibility.
Adulthood.
It’s what distinguished the boys from the men and the girls from the…uh….well…girls? (We didn’t have a “step up into adulthood” word in the 90’s like boys did so calling us guys/girls was just fine…to me anyway.)
My brothers were given brand new cars as soon as they turned sixteen. I remember watching them shop for their cars thinking, “Hmm, I wonder what I’ll get when I’m sixteen?” Needless to say, I didn’t. My parents gave them the freedom most boys had in the 80’s and 90’s while my parents kept me…well… inside.
I was a girl after all and double standards were strong with this one. And I was okay with it (decades later that is).
But that didn’t change the fact that I was eighteen and still didn’t have a car.
For two years, all of my girl friends had shiny key fobs dangling from their coveted car keys. And all I had was no shame in asking for a ride. Maybe it was cultural but in my small southern town it seemed that girls were the ones to get brand spanking new cars more than the guys…and of course me.
Regardless, a lot of guys did get cars, or rather trucks, of the used variety, but who cares, they still had a ride.
So what happened between the 90’s and Gen Z? Why is it, time and again my friends are telling me how hard it is to motivate their kids to drive? Why are parents still driving around their twenty-somethings in cars they bought for them?! Why are teens so disinterested in independently getting from Point A to Point B?
I’m still trying to coerce my oldest to get behind the wheel.
God forbid I ask him to order a pizza!
Is it because teens these days are introverted?
Lazy?
Scared?
Have nowhere to go?
It’s gotta be those damned screens!
Why would they leave?
They can order groceries, DoorDash, clothes, books (if they actually read anymore) and anything else they desire all online.
Just get someone else to do it. That’s the mantra here.
How about friends and socializing?
Yup. Also, all online. All 24/7. They have Discord, Snapchat, Instagram, Texting, Videocalls. Why leave their rooms when their social life is right there in their bedrooms?
The motivation is gone.
The independence is gone.
The desire to intermingle with humans…gone.
We’re lucky if we can get them to shower, much less leave their rooms.
Sadly the days of “Can I drive? ” have turned into “Can you drive?”
My reply? No.
No. I can’t.
You do it.
You want ice cream. Get us there.
You want Subway. Go there.
You want to see a movie. Drive!
I turned out to be twenty and in college before I got my first car. And my college buddies were very grateful because they were of the ilk that didn’t get cars too.
So many fun memories were in that car, and the car after that, and the one after that, and my fourth one too, we called her Betsey. She was that soccer mom, field and road trippin’ mini man of a beast, plastered in travel stickers we collected from around the United States.
In other words, our neighborhood’s eyesore.
But like everyone else who rode in Betsey, we had to say goodbye to her when she hit her last leg. I miss her and I am certain that my boys miss her too, as do all of those families with all of those kids who rode in Betsey with all of those teachers, and martial arts athletes too.
Gen Z is missing out!
Maybe it’s Uber. Maybe they like to save gas…or the environment. Perhaps, they are just on a short delay and unlike Gen X want to slow down time. Or possibly they just really like driving simulators.
Regardless, whatever the case may be, I look forward to the day my boys name their cars. The day their cars become somewhat “humanized” and feel like an important member of the family. The day it becomes a vital part of their friend group. And the day their cars decide not to start and they have to beg it to.
One day, they are going to be sad to say goodbye to that beloved car of theirs, I can feel it! We all had an inanimate object that when being taken away felt like it was a part of us leaving instead.
Sure, we all have attachments to devices and screens but the truth is, nothing will ever beat the memories made in a good ol’car like good ol’ Betsey.
And even though there is a resistance from many Gen Z’ers to drive as much as there is to showering, once they get behind that wheel and head out on their own adventures, I know they will be building lifelong memories too, in hopes that all of them will someday have a Betsey of their own.
RIP Betsey – We miss you!
2005 – 2023
